4 Weeks and 3 Days: Happy Monday

How to tell it's a Monday when you're a stay-at-home mom:

• Baby seems uninterested in breakfast for the first time in... ever. Which is not good when you and your husband are on a schedule so that he can spell you before he goes to work so you can take a shower.
• Decide maybe baby is sleepy and take her upstairs for a diaper change.
• Which is when you realize that her blanket is covered in poo.
• Upon further investigation, you discover that she has pooped up her back, so her onesie is also completely soaked in yellow baby poo.
• Realize that there is no way to get said onesie off the baby without spreading the poop from here to kingdom come.
• Yell for husband to turn on the hot water and get out the sponge for an emergency baby bath.
• Baby now has poop ALL over her back, even in her hair. She is, thankfully, cooing happily at you from the changing table, which is now also covered in poop.
• And so are you.
• Rush baby to the bathroom swaddled in burp cloths for an emergency poop-ectomy requiring multiple wash cloths. Thank your lucky stars that husband hadn't left for work yet.
• Finally get all the poop off the baby, pick her up, start to wrap her in a towel—and realize she is urinating. All over you and the towel and the floor.
• Have a good laugh, because really? What else are you going to do?

Happy Monday.