learning to be a mom one twist at a time

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Monday, November 28, 2011

31 weeks, 3 days: "Buh"

This morning, I notice that Devyn is making kissing sounds with her lips—the precursor to a "B" or "P" sound!

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Seven Months (and 1 day) Old




Dear Devyn,

Oops!  Forgot to do your photo shoot yesterday!  So these are photos from when you are seven months old—and one day!  

I was reading through some of my previous letters to you last night, and it's amazing to me how much you've changed.  Things I was amazed by just a few months ago—laughing, grabbing toys, sitting up—are now things you do every single day.  But one thing that hasn't changed is how much I adore spending my days with you.

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, and this year, you are the thing I am most thankful for.  I wrote a couple of days ago about remembering that I should be thankful for poop blowouts and 3am feedings and crying—every single part of you—because those things, along with all the good things, are what make you you.  And I am so thankful for every part of you.

I am thankful that you sit up by yourself now all the time.  
I am thankful that you love to pull all your toys out of your toy box.
I am thankful that you like to go to story time and play with the other babies.
I am thankful that you really like your little French farm book that makes animal noises.
I am thankful that you are learning to put yourself back to sleep when you wake up at night.
I am thankful that you are learning to take naps without your swaddle.
I am thankful that you love eating big people food—this week we introduced beets and plums.
I am thankful that you waved to your Gran on the computer this week!

And so much more!

Last week we started going to mom and baby yoga classes, and they are awesome.  You really seem to enjoy yourself.  Today you just talked and crowed and laughed the whole time.  So, we will definitely be keeping that on our weekly roster.  And, last week I left you in the gym's daycare for about half an hour, just to try it out, and they said you did great!  

Your favorite book is still "Pajama Time," which your dad and I can pretty much recite by heart now.  Your favorite toys are Sophie the giraffe and anything that rattles or makes noise when you move it.  Your favorite songs are "Shake Your Sillies Out" and the good job song I made up.  

In the wider world this month, the Occupy protest movement is still going on, as is the primary race for the Republican presidential nomination.  (I just learned today that candidate Mitt Romney's full name is Wilfred Mittens Romney.  MITTENS!)  And in Egypt, protesters have returned to Tahrir Square to demand that the military caretaker government hold real elections right away.

I'm so looking forward to all the upcoming holidays with you, sweet baby.  You make every day more special for me.

All my love,
~Mommy

Monday, November 21, 2011

30 weeks, 3 days: On Being A Mom

 
Devyn's naps have started getting irregular again lately—she seems to think that a ten minute snooze in Mom's arms is sufficient for a 9am nap—and so I was letting her sleep after she ate this morning, holding and rocking her and reading blogs on my iPod as I am wont to do, when I came across two things in just a matter of minutes that crystalized how I'm feeling about motherhood these days.

The first was a post in which the author was talking about saying thank you even when you don't feel thankful.  As in, saying "Thank you for this tiny person," as you are cleaning up a massive poop blowout, or "Thank you for this home," as you sweep up yet another pile of dog hair.  The idea is that just the act of putting that thank you out into the universe can help adjust your attitude towards whatever it is you're facing.

The second thing was a post by a lovely author who has a toddler and a creative business and went to an art show this past weekend.  She writes,
to be honest, i felt a little out of place. and in my heart i felt envious; i've guiltily given most creative projects a backseat (or thrown in the trunk!) in my life right now. i wish i could carve out more time for things like this, i thought to myself. more time for cultivating my skills for awesome passions i wish i had time for. if i didn't blog so much, maybe i could be better at fill-in-the-blank. or, maybe if i could cut out my once-in-awhile napping ritual i could read more fine literature or possibly, dig into the new yorker or something equally as stimulating / informative...

soon i began to look around– pushing through those feelings–and saw dan with benji in his arms, mingling with the artists and i realized something. my own toddler is my creative project at the moment. he's the main show. and that is more than okay with me. it was a happy mini lightbulb moment.
I have so felt like this. I took on food blogging as a serious pursuit right after Devyn was born, and I started to meet all these incredible people doing amazing things. I became immersed in this world where people go out for cocktails every night, hang out at restaurants and chit chat with the chef and the bartenders, take field trips to farms every weekend to learn about their food, cure their own meats, brew their own alcohol, go up into the mountains and wander around for hours in silence picking wild mushrooms and berries. 

And I was envious.  That little green monster has taken hold of my heart more than once in the last seven months, making me jealous that I have neither the time nor the disposable income to indulge in so many of these pursuits.

And let's not even get started on the mommy bloggers who are suddenly my peers, and the real-life perfect moms I've met who post online about the dozens of crafts they have planned for the holiday season, the elaborate dessert buffet they whipped up for the PTA meeting, the dozens of Christmas gifts they've lovingly crafted—and finished!—so that they can do nothing but bake and watch Christmas movies with their kids from Thanksgiving to New Year's. 

I've felt that sense of, "if only..."  If only I worked harder, my house would be clean all the time.  If only I managed my time better, I could work out for two hours a day to be fit and healthy.  If only I worked more often after Devyn goes to bed, I could spend more time working with her, teaching her to wave and point to my nose and crawl.  If only...

And then. 

And then there are moments when it all just melts away.  When good enough really is good enough.  When I remember those first days when Devyn arrived and I marveled at her, called her my zen master, and prayed every day that I would be able to learn the lessons she is here to teach me. 

I truly am thankful for the poop blowouts and the 3am waking and the spit up.  And I really am OK letting Devyn be my creative outlet right now. 

Because she is so, so worth it. 

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

28 weeks, 5 days: The Rest of the Story

Realized today that updates have been a little thin on the ground lately, and that photos only tell part of the story, so I thought I'd fill in the blanks a little.

On Monday we went and had Devyn's 6 month checkup (postponed because we all had a cold).  She weighs 14 pounds, 2 ounces, is 26.25 inches long, and has a head circumference of 16.5 inches.  This puts her in the 10th percentile for weight, the 58th for height and the 25th for head size.  The doctor has little line graphs she shows at each visit, and Devyn is progressing along her graph perfectly, which means, basically, that although she is small, she is growing at exactly the rate they would hope to see.

She got her four regular booster shots and a flu shot.  We have to go back next month to get her a second dose of the flu vaccine (and I think mommy and daddy will get one at the same time), but other than that she is done with shots until she's a year old.

I also filled out a questionnaire about her behavior, motor skills, etc., and she was doing everything on the list consistently except putting her feet in her mouth (she grabs them all the time, but I've never seen her try to eat one) and saying syllables like "ba, ga, da," (she'll occasionally get one out, but not consistently).

Put into a sitting position, she can stay up forever—or until she gets tired and cries for someone to help her, or she reaches too far for a toy and falls over.  It's her favorite position for playing now, and she routinely sits by herself for 15, 20, even 30 minutes.

This morning, she was playing her newest game, which is to pull out all her toys one by one.  I recently bought some fabric boxes to corral toys downstairs, and keep one on her play mat; if I set it on its side, she can be entertained for quite a while, pulling the toys out and playing with them one by one.  (In fact, if you put the toys back, she's engaged for even longer!)

No crawling yet, but she is holding herself up on hands and knees now when we put her on her tummy.  She doesn't love to be on her tummy right now, though—I think because she is frustrated that she can't move or grab her toys.  I don't think it will be long, though.

We aged out of the new moms group we were going to, so now we are going to story time at the library every Tuesday and still walking with the stroller club on Wednesdays and Fridays.  She seems to really enjoy story time—mostly she likes watching all the other babies.

She's also eating solid food either once or twice a day (depending on my schedule more than anything else).  She eats apples, pears, sweet potatoes, carrots, rice cereal and we just introduced chicken—which she isn't too sure of.  She eats about two to three tablespoons of food at a time.  And she LOVES drinking water out of her sippy cup.  (She will make herself sick if we let her!)

We've been weening her off of her swaddle slowly, mostly at nap times so far.  I started by leaving one arm unwrapped.  Now, this week, I've just been very loosely draping the blanket around her, for consistency's sake, and she's been sleeping pretty well!  The next step will be working on sleeping without it at night.

All in all, she is a joy, and I am loving watching her grow and develop.