Little One and I have been having a challenging couple of weeks. Her naps have gone all wonky, in that she doesn't want to take them any more. She still sleeps really well at night, but every nap time is a fight; she'll fall asleep in my arms, but the second I set her down, she wakes again. And, if by some miracle she stays asleep when I set her down (or if she falls asleep in the stroller or the car) she only sleeps for 20–30 minutes.
I felt like I had tried everything, up to and including letting her "cry it out" for a couple of naps. That, by the way, is pure torture. I sat at the top of the stairs outside her room, sobbing while she fussed, and she really only cried for about 20 minutes (though she never did fall asleep).
In any case, after long conversations with my mom and my sister yesterday (brought on by more crying on my part), I think I have a plan and then, of course, she napped really well yesterday, so it may all be moot.
Both the hard part and the amazing part of this, is that yesterday I realized how much she is figuring out what is going on. She had been great most of the day, except for her first nap, which had me in tears, but she started to get fussy just as we were sitting down to dinner. We moved her to her buzzy chair, she didn't like it; I held her and she wiggled like she was trying to get away from me; I put her on the play mat again, she cried. Finally, I said, "If you're going to fuss regardless, you can sit in your buzzy chair until we finish eating," and strapped her in.
At that point, she started to really, REALLY cry. Not just the fussy yelling she does when she's displeased, but real crying, with real tears. But I had made an ultimatum. So Brandon and I scarfed down our food as fast as humanly possible.
Brandon finished first and went to pick her up, but rather than stop crying, she looked at me very pointedly, with big fat tears running down her face. And that was when I realized she was probably hungry.
Oh my god, I felt terrible! Here she was, just trying to communicate with me, and I totally missed it and "punished" her for it. I can't beat myself up too much about it, because it was an honest mistake, but in that moment, it really hit me how much she understands, how much she knows, how much of a little person she already is.
The Baby Whisperer book I read before she was born talked about slowing down and really trying to read your baby's cues. I was reminded of it last night, reminded that I need to really listen and try to learn her language as much as she is trying to learn mine. I was so focused on outside things, on my food getting cold, on other things, that I completely missed what she was trying to tell me—loud and clear.
And an experience other moms might always miss...At least you you figured it out!! It's just hard to tune in all the time and it is such a work in progress.....Just when you have it down it changes. So glad you girls can talk and I think that Baby Whisperer person is someone I would have liked to have read when you were Devyn's age!!!
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